The Life And Times Of Mrs Fizzlepink
Feb 11, 2018 21:35:19 GMT
Post by Frodo on Feb 11, 2018 21:35:19 GMT
Okay, you all know the classic fairy tale (at least, I HOPE you do).
This is what REALLY happened...
Mrs Fizzlepink lives in a large cottage on the outskirts of quaint little village, near the woods. She is a kindly old lady, with long, straggly, white hair, and an infectious cackly laugh.
You could call her… quirky… with her own way of doing things. And she takes great pride in her garden, in which she grows a whole variety of herbs, which she often uses for home remedies, as well as flavouring her food. She also has flowers blooming over the fence & gate, and vines and flowers that frame her door and windows.
Like I said, she’s a kind old lady, always willing to help those in need. But she’s frail, and walks with a cane.
One day, while she’s busy making cakes for the Children’s Fete, she hears a banging at her door, making her jump.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *to herself* OH! Goodness! Who could that be?
The banging becomes more urgent, as she slowly hobbles her way to the front door. And when she opens the door, she sees two young teenagers - a girl and a boy - standing there. The girl leans on the boy, and appears to be injured, with bloody cuts on her arms and face.
BOY: Please… my sister was attacked… she’s badly injured… can you help us? PLEASE?
The boy sounds desperate, and dear Mrs Fizzlepink can’t turn her back on them.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *gasps* Oh, you poor dears! Yes… yes… come in!
The boy smiles a grateful ‘Thankyou’, as he helps his sister inside the cottage. Mrs Fizzlepink leads them through to the kitchen, and with some effort, manages to pull out a chair from the kitchen table. The boy lowers his sister into the chair.
BOY: Thankyou so much.
The old lady gets a cloth, and soaks it in the sink. Then she walks over to the girl, and begins to gently wash her wounds.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *looks at the boy* Oh, this is terrible! Tell me what happened.
BOY: We were walking through the woods, and this… THING… attacked my sister. *looks at his sister* It all happened so fast… I couldn’t tell if it was a big dog, or a wolf, or WHAT it was.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *still washing the girl’s wounds* Well, sometimes, stray dogs wander into the woods looking for food.
BOY: It came out of nowhere… it jumped on my sister. I managed to throw rocks at it, until it ran off. Can you help her? Will she be okay?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Some of these wounds look deep. But I have some yarrow in the garden.
BOY: Yarrow?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *nods* It’s a natural remedy that does wonders for bleeding gashes. It helps to reduce the bleeding, and fight any infection, you see.
The boy nods.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I’ll go and fetch some. *pauses* Oh… do tell me your names, deary?
BOY: I’m Harrison. She’s Gretchen.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I’m very pleased to meet you, Harrison and Gretchen. Although I do wish it wasn’t under such dire circumstances. *her face burrows into a concerned frown* I’ll just fetch that yarrow… won’t be long, deary.
Mrs Fizzlepink leans heavily on her walking cane, as she hobbles off to her garden. While she’s gone, Harrison looks round the kitchen, and sees several baking trays of various stages of cakes - some cake dough waiting to be baked, some baked cakes still cooling on the kitchen surfaces, some half-mixed cake mixture, etc. There’s even some Candy Canes hanging from the window. It’s quite a sight!
Several minutes later, Mrs Fizzlepink returns. She smiles at Harrison.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Here we are, deary. Now the yarrow leaves must be placed on your sister’s wounds, before I bandage her.
But as Mrs Fizzlepink leans over the injured girl to try and help her… the girl's arm shoots up, and grabs Mrs Fizzlepink’s arm. She opens her eyes, and sits up.
GRETCHEN: You ain’t puttin’ none of that voodoo witch-crap on me, old lady!
The boy laughs. Mrs Fizzlepink looks between them, feeling quite perplexed.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: … Excuse me?
GRETCHEN: *to her brother* Told you an old witch lived here, Harrison.
HARRISON: Haha. You were right, Gretchen. I should have believed you. Still, it was risky, cutting’ through the woods like that. That stupid wild dog got you good.
Although Gretchen is injured, it’s not as bad as she had initially made out.
GRETCHEN: Ach, it was worth it. Besides, we can stay here until my wounds heal. The old bag won’t do anything… *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink* Will you?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: …
HARRISON: We should tie her up, just to make sure. Can you stand, Gretchen?
GRETCHEN: Yeah, sure. Help me up?
Gretchen holds out her arms, and Harrison pulls her to her feet. Gretchen looks round at Mrs Fizzlepink again.
GRETCHEN: Sit down, you crazy old bag.
Mrs Fizzlepink doesn’t move.
HARRISON: My sister said… SIT DOWN!
Harrison pushes Mrs Fizzlepink down into the chair that Gretchen occupied just moments before. Gretchen grabs the cane she uses to walk around.
GRETCHEN: Look Harrison, she even has a witch’s wand.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: It’s my cane. I need it help me walk around. These old bones are not as young as they once were, you know.
GRETCHEN: You know something… I’m getting really tired of the sound of your voice. Why don’t you zip it?
Gretchen raises the cane, and brings it down hard on poor Mrs Fizzlepink, who yells in pain.
GRETCHEN: Here, have some Yarrow. I’m told it does wonders for wounds. Stops the bleeding, and heals infections, blah blah blah. Hehehe. *throws some of the yarrow flowers at Mrs Fizzlepink*
HARRISON: What can we use to tie her up? *looks around*
GRETCHEN: An old witch like her is bound to have some rope somewhere. Check the cupboards.
The two teenagers begin checking cupboards in the cottage. They soon find a storage closet in the hallway, that contains a mop & bucket, some scrubbing brushes, a few other odds & ends… and some rope. They take the rope back to the kitchen, to tie up poor Mrs Fizzlepink.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: You don’t have to do this, dearies. If you leave now, I won’t tell a soul.
GRETCHEN: Oh, shut up!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I tried to HELP you…
GRETCHEN: Yes, and I’m grateful. Just as I’m grateful you’re letting us stay here for a while.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *frowns* I don’t recall agreeing to that.
HARRISON: You don’t get a choice. *whacks the old lady across the cheek*
With Mrs Fizzlepink tied up, the teenagers begin to relax.
HARRISON: You should have a seat, Gretchen. We came here to see if your old witch really existed, and she does. But you’ve still been hurt.
Gretchen smiles at her brother, and sits down on another chair at the kitchen table. But they can’t relax for long… a burning smell begins to waft through the kitchen, and smoke pours out of the oven.
HARRISON: What the hell…
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *looks at the oven* That’s my chocolate muffins I was baking for the Children’s Fete tomorrow. They’ll be burnt to a crisp now. *sniff*
Harrison turns off the oven, pulls open the oven door, and coughs as the burnt smoke pours out.
GRETCHEN: Hehe. They’ll make good rocks once they cool down. All the better to practice throwing techniques. *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink*
Harrison picks up a pan from the oven, that’s full of… something. He grabs a nearby wooden spoon, and uses it to poke the… something.
HARRISON: What’s this crap? *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink*
MRS FIZZLEPINK: It’s Gingerbread dough. It needs to be rolled out flat, before I can cut out little Gingerbread Men.
GRETCHEN: Let me guess. For the stupid Children’s Fete?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Yes, actually.
GRETCHEN: PFFT! *pauses, then looks at Harrison* Hey Harrison… want some fun?
HARRISON: *grins* What’cha got in mind?
GRETCHEN: The outside of this dump could do with a little redecorating, don’cha think? Gingerbread dough is just what the place needs!
HARRISON: HAHAHA! Great idea, sis.
Harrison picks up a pan of Gingerbread dough, and takes it outside. Gretchen follows… still nursing her wounds, of course.
Outside the house, Gretchen begins rolling the dough into balls, then hands some to her brother.
GRETCHEN: Okay Harrison. See that flower above the door? The pink one? Bet’cha can’t hit it.
HARRISON: You’re on!
Harrison spits on the Gingerbread dough ball for luck, takes aim, and throws it at the pink flower above the door, hitting it dead centre.
GRETCHEN: Oh, nice shot! How about one right in the middle of that wall.
Harrison throws a dough ball at the wall, and it sticks. They have fun throwing Gingerbread dough balls at various places on the outside wall and door, before getting bored, and going back inside again. Mrs Fizzlepink looks at them sadly.
GRETCHEN: WHAT YOU LOOKING AT? *punches her*
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I try to help you… and you repay me by tying me up, vandalising my home, and abusing me?
GRETCHEN: You’re lucky we don’t burn you at the stake, for being a witch!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I am not a witch!
HARRISON: You expect us to believe you, stupid old fool? *points to corner of the room* Look! You even have an old cauldron in the corner there.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: That was my grandmother’s. I use it for boiling water. There's no electricity in the cottage, you see.
GRETCHEN: You mean, you use it for brewing all your witchy potions.
Mrs Fizzlepink just sighs.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Where are your parents: I’m sure they’re worried about you.
GRETCHEN: Our parents let us do what we like! And right now, we like to have fun here.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Please… just leave me alone.
GRETCHEN: Oh, but we’re having SO much fun!
HARRISON: *glances outside* It’s starting to get dark though. And my sister needs to rest - she got hurt because of you.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: ME??? How could it be MY fault she got attacked by a stray dog? Besides, I tried to help her.
HARRISON: We would never have been in those woods, if it wasn’t for you! You stupid old WITCH! SO IT’’S ALL YOUR FAULT! *kicks her*
GRETCHEN: Forget the old bag. Let’s go and get some shut-eye. She’s bound to have a bedroom somewhere.
Harrison nods in agreement, gives Mrs Fizzlepink one more kick, then follows Gretchen out the room.
HARRISON: You take the bed, Gretchen. I’ll sleep on the floor.
Mrs Fizzlepink is left alone in the kitchen, to contemplate the day‘s events… tied up, bleeding, and in pain. How could two young people be so cruel?
A new day dawns. Harrison and Gretchen appear in the kitchen.
HARRISON: Morning, witch. Thanks for your hospitality last night. *sarcastic*
GRETCHEN: Mmm, yes! Your bed is SO comfy! Didn’t want to get up this morning. Thanks for letting me use it.
Mrs Fizzlepink just looks at them. She had invited them in yesterday, because the girl was injured… NOT for them to abuse her. And now they’re taunting her, as well.
HARRISON: So what’s for breakfast?
He begins rummaging through cupboards, looking for something to eat… throwing things on the floor, as he does so.
GRETCHEN: Breakfast? What about those chocolate muffins from yesterday? They’ll be cool now.
HARRISON: Oh yes, I forgot about them. *grins*
He walks over to the tray of now-cooled, burnt-to-a-crisp, rock-solid chocolate muffins. He takes one from the tray… and throws it at Mrs Fizzlepink.
HARRISON: Hey, that was fun. Want to try it, Gretchen?
GRETCHEN: Sure, why not.
Gretchen also takes a chocolate muffin, and throws it at Mrs Fizzlepink.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I think you’ve both done enough! You are no longer welcome in my home! Please leave!
GRETCHEN: What’s that? WHAT’S THAT? YOU THROWING US OUT NOW?
HARRISON: Now you’ve upset my sister! NO-ONE upsets my sister! You’re gonna pay for that!
Harrison picks up the old woman’s walking cane that was still lying on the ground from yesterday… and begins beating her with it. Mrs Fizzlepink’s screams for mercy fall on deaf ears.
Then she falls silent.
HARRISON: What’s that? Cat got your tongue? Hahaha. *continues beating her*
GRETCHEN: *looks closely at her* Harrison… I think she’s dead.
HARRISON: … Nah, she can’t be. *kicks Mrs Fizzlepink* Say something, you old bat.
No response from Mrs Fizzlepink.
GRETCHEN: I’m telling you, she’s dead, Harrison.
HARRISON: *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink* You’re a witch, aren’t you? Just… poof yourself back alive again.
Still no response from Mrs Fizzlepink.
HARRISON: *drops the cane* Oh FUCK! I… I didn’t mean… I didn’t think she would…
Harrison is beginning to panic. He may be a bully, and a violent thug, and various other things… just like his sister. But he’s never killed anyone before.
GRETCHEN: It’s not your fault, Harrison. *tries to comfort her brother* If she hadn’t been a witch, none of this would have happened.
HARRISON: But she’s… I mean LOOK at her… she’s DEAD! What am I going to do?
GRETCHEN: Don’t worry, we’ll deal with this.
HARRISON: HOW?
Gretchen sits down at the kitchen table to think. Suddenly, the cauldron in the corner catches her eye.
GRETCHEN: *snaps her fingers* THE CAULDRON! She said she uses it to boil water. What if we fill it with water, boil it, then dump her body in it? No body, means nothing happened!
HARRISON: YOU… are a GENIUS! *hugs his sister*
The next few hours are spent with filling the large cauldron with water. It takes a long time, filling up the kettle, pouring it into the cauldron, refilling the kettle, pouring it into the cauldron, refilling the kettle again… etc. Then they light the fire underneath, and wait for the water to boil… which takes FOREVER. Finally, they untie poor old Mrs Fizzlepink.
HARRISON: Help me with this, will ya?
The two of them struggle, as they lift the old woman up, ready to dump her into the boiling cauldron. The water sizzles in anticipation.
Suddenly… out of nowhere… a loud clap of thunder sounds right outside the kitchen window, making the brother and sister team jump in fright. They’re so shocked, they drop poor Mrs Fizzlepink’s body back down on the ground. Rain pours down, crashing against the kitchen window, and banging at the door.
And a voice is heard… a whisper, carried on the wind…
Osiris, won’t you hear my plea
Osiris, grant thy life to me
A kindness that was taken wrong
Betrayal led to evil’s song
Let death take not this mortal soul
Let death take not it’s final toll
Grant to me a chance to quench
A bitter blow, one last revenge
HARRISON: *turning deathly pale* What the hell was THAT?
GRETCHEN: *turning equally pale* How should I know?
Another clap of thunder sounds, sounding as though the devil himself has awoken. The brother and sister rush to the window to look outside.
Behind them… Mrs Fizzlepink slowly gets to her feet, and dusts herself off. She tuts several times.
Gretchen and Harrison spin round... and can’t believe what they’re seeing.
HARRISON: But you… you… you’re DEAD!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Do I look dead to you, deary?
GRETCHEN: But… but… we SAW you!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really should know better than to attack a witch, dearies. *grins*
GRETCHEN & HARRISON: …
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I tried to be kind. I opened my home to you. But when kindness is met with cruelness and hostility… that cruelness must be dealt with most severely! Now let… me… see. You seem to like my grandmother’s cauldron, so it seems only fitting that you get to experience the full benefits of it. And I see you’ve already boiled the water for me - how considerate! *pauses* I’ve always been partial to boiled toad, so…
With a wave of her hand, the two teenagers disappear. In their place, croaking angrily on the ground… are two large toads. Mrs Fizzlepink picks them up, smiles, and drops them into the boiling cauldron.
An hour later, Mrs Fizzlepink tucks into a tasty treat of toad sandwich.
This is what REALLY happened...
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF MRS FIZZLEPINK
Mrs Fizzlepink lives in a large cottage on the outskirts of quaint little village, near the woods. She is a kindly old lady, with long, straggly, white hair, and an infectious cackly laugh.
You could call her… quirky… with her own way of doing things. And she takes great pride in her garden, in which she grows a whole variety of herbs, which she often uses for home remedies, as well as flavouring her food. She also has flowers blooming over the fence & gate, and vines and flowers that frame her door and windows.
Like I said, she’s a kind old lady, always willing to help those in need. But she’s frail, and walks with a cane.
One day, while she’s busy making cakes for the Children’s Fete, she hears a banging at her door, making her jump.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *to herself* OH! Goodness! Who could that be?
The banging becomes more urgent, as she slowly hobbles her way to the front door. And when she opens the door, she sees two young teenagers - a girl and a boy - standing there. The girl leans on the boy, and appears to be injured, with bloody cuts on her arms and face.
BOY: Please… my sister was attacked… she’s badly injured… can you help us? PLEASE?
The boy sounds desperate, and dear Mrs Fizzlepink can’t turn her back on them.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *gasps* Oh, you poor dears! Yes… yes… come in!
The boy smiles a grateful ‘Thankyou’, as he helps his sister inside the cottage. Mrs Fizzlepink leads them through to the kitchen, and with some effort, manages to pull out a chair from the kitchen table. The boy lowers his sister into the chair.
BOY: Thankyou so much.
The old lady gets a cloth, and soaks it in the sink. Then she walks over to the girl, and begins to gently wash her wounds.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *looks at the boy* Oh, this is terrible! Tell me what happened.
BOY: We were walking through the woods, and this… THING… attacked my sister. *looks at his sister* It all happened so fast… I couldn’t tell if it was a big dog, or a wolf, or WHAT it was.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *still washing the girl’s wounds* Well, sometimes, stray dogs wander into the woods looking for food.
BOY: It came out of nowhere… it jumped on my sister. I managed to throw rocks at it, until it ran off. Can you help her? Will she be okay?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Some of these wounds look deep. But I have some yarrow in the garden.
BOY: Yarrow?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *nods* It’s a natural remedy that does wonders for bleeding gashes. It helps to reduce the bleeding, and fight any infection, you see.
The boy nods.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I’ll go and fetch some. *pauses* Oh… do tell me your names, deary?
BOY: I’m Harrison. She’s Gretchen.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I’m very pleased to meet you, Harrison and Gretchen. Although I do wish it wasn’t under such dire circumstances. *her face burrows into a concerned frown* I’ll just fetch that yarrow… won’t be long, deary.
Mrs Fizzlepink leans heavily on her walking cane, as she hobbles off to her garden. While she’s gone, Harrison looks round the kitchen, and sees several baking trays of various stages of cakes - some cake dough waiting to be baked, some baked cakes still cooling on the kitchen surfaces, some half-mixed cake mixture, etc. There’s even some Candy Canes hanging from the window. It’s quite a sight!
Several minutes later, Mrs Fizzlepink returns. She smiles at Harrison.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Here we are, deary. Now the yarrow leaves must be placed on your sister’s wounds, before I bandage her.
But as Mrs Fizzlepink leans over the injured girl to try and help her… the girl's arm shoots up, and grabs Mrs Fizzlepink’s arm. She opens her eyes, and sits up.
GRETCHEN: You ain’t puttin’ none of that voodoo witch-crap on me, old lady!
The boy laughs. Mrs Fizzlepink looks between them, feeling quite perplexed.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: … Excuse me?
GRETCHEN: *to her brother* Told you an old witch lived here, Harrison.
HARRISON: Haha. You were right, Gretchen. I should have believed you. Still, it was risky, cutting’ through the woods like that. That stupid wild dog got you good.
Although Gretchen is injured, it’s not as bad as she had initially made out.
GRETCHEN: Ach, it was worth it. Besides, we can stay here until my wounds heal. The old bag won’t do anything… *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink* Will you?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: …
HARRISON: We should tie her up, just to make sure. Can you stand, Gretchen?
GRETCHEN: Yeah, sure. Help me up?
Gretchen holds out her arms, and Harrison pulls her to her feet. Gretchen looks round at Mrs Fizzlepink again.
GRETCHEN: Sit down, you crazy old bag.
Mrs Fizzlepink doesn’t move.
HARRISON: My sister said… SIT DOWN!
Harrison pushes Mrs Fizzlepink down into the chair that Gretchen occupied just moments before. Gretchen grabs the cane she uses to walk around.
GRETCHEN: Look Harrison, she even has a witch’s wand.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: It’s my cane. I need it help me walk around. These old bones are not as young as they once were, you know.
GRETCHEN: You know something… I’m getting really tired of the sound of your voice. Why don’t you zip it?
Gretchen raises the cane, and brings it down hard on poor Mrs Fizzlepink, who yells in pain.
GRETCHEN: Here, have some Yarrow. I’m told it does wonders for wounds. Stops the bleeding, and heals infections, blah blah blah. Hehehe. *throws some of the yarrow flowers at Mrs Fizzlepink*
HARRISON: What can we use to tie her up? *looks around*
GRETCHEN: An old witch like her is bound to have some rope somewhere. Check the cupboards.
The two teenagers begin checking cupboards in the cottage. They soon find a storage closet in the hallway, that contains a mop & bucket, some scrubbing brushes, a few other odds & ends… and some rope. They take the rope back to the kitchen, to tie up poor Mrs Fizzlepink.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: You don’t have to do this, dearies. If you leave now, I won’t tell a soul.
GRETCHEN: Oh, shut up!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I tried to HELP you…
GRETCHEN: Yes, and I’m grateful. Just as I’m grateful you’re letting us stay here for a while.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *frowns* I don’t recall agreeing to that.
HARRISON: You don’t get a choice. *whacks the old lady across the cheek*
With Mrs Fizzlepink tied up, the teenagers begin to relax.
HARRISON: You should have a seat, Gretchen. We came here to see if your old witch really existed, and she does. But you’ve still been hurt.
Gretchen smiles at her brother, and sits down on another chair at the kitchen table. But they can’t relax for long… a burning smell begins to waft through the kitchen, and smoke pours out of the oven.
HARRISON: What the hell…
MRS FIZZLEPINK: *looks at the oven* That’s my chocolate muffins I was baking for the Children’s Fete tomorrow. They’ll be burnt to a crisp now. *sniff*
Harrison turns off the oven, pulls open the oven door, and coughs as the burnt smoke pours out.
GRETCHEN: Hehe. They’ll make good rocks once they cool down. All the better to practice throwing techniques. *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink*
Harrison picks up a pan from the oven, that’s full of… something. He grabs a nearby wooden spoon, and uses it to poke the… something.
HARRISON: What’s this crap? *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink*
MRS FIZZLEPINK: It’s Gingerbread dough. It needs to be rolled out flat, before I can cut out little Gingerbread Men.
GRETCHEN: Let me guess. For the stupid Children’s Fete?
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Yes, actually.
GRETCHEN: PFFT! *pauses, then looks at Harrison* Hey Harrison… want some fun?
HARRISON: *grins* What’cha got in mind?
GRETCHEN: The outside of this dump could do with a little redecorating, don’cha think? Gingerbread dough is just what the place needs!
HARRISON: HAHAHA! Great idea, sis.
Harrison picks up a pan of Gingerbread dough, and takes it outside. Gretchen follows… still nursing her wounds, of course.
Outside the house, Gretchen begins rolling the dough into balls, then hands some to her brother.
GRETCHEN: Okay Harrison. See that flower above the door? The pink one? Bet’cha can’t hit it.
HARRISON: You’re on!
Harrison spits on the Gingerbread dough ball for luck, takes aim, and throws it at the pink flower above the door, hitting it dead centre.
GRETCHEN: Oh, nice shot! How about one right in the middle of that wall.
Harrison throws a dough ball at the wall, and it sticks. They have fun throwing Gingerbread dough balls at various places on the outside wall and door, before getting bored, and going back inside again. Mrs Fizzlepink looks at them sadly.
GRETCHEN: WHAT YOU LOOKING AT? *punches her*
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I try to help you… and you repay me by tying me up, vandalising my home, and abusing me?
GRETCHEN: You’re lucky we don’t burn you at the stake, for being a witch!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I am not a witch!
HARRISON: You expect us to believe you, stupid old fool? *points to corner of the room* Look! You even have an old cauldron in the corner there.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: That was my grandmother’s. I use it for boiling water. There's no electricity in the cottage, you see.
GRETCHEN: You mean, you use it for brewing all your witchy potions.
Mrs Fizzlepink just sighs.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Where are your parents: I’m sure they’re worried about you.
GRETCHEN: Our parents let us do what we like! And right now, we like to have fun here.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Please… just leave me alone.
GRETCHEN: Oh, but we’re having SO much fun!
HARRISON: *glances outside* It’s starting to get dark though. And my sister needs to rest - she got hurt because of you.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: ME??? How could it be MY fault she got attacked by a stray dog? Besides, I tried to help her.
HARRISON: We would never have been in those woods, if it wasn’t for you! You stupid old WITCH! SO IT’’S ALL YOUR FAULT! *kicks her*
GRETCHEN: Forget the old bag. Let’s go and get some shut-eye. She’s bound to have a bedroom somewhere.
Harrison nods in agreement, gives Mrs Fizzlepink one more kick, then follows Gretchen out the room.
HARRISON: You take the bed, Gretchen. I’ll sleep on the floor.
Mrs Fizzlepink is left alone in the kitchen, to contemplate the day‘s events… tied up, bleeding, and in pain. How could two young people be so cruel?
A new day dawns. Harrison and Gretchen appear in the kitchen.
HARRISON: Morning, witch. Thanks for your hospitality last night. *sarcastic*
GRETCHEN: Mmm, yes! Your bed is SO comfy! Didn’t want to get up this morning. Thanks for letting me use it.
Mrs Fizzlepink just looks at them. She had invited them in yesterday, because the girl was injured… NOT for them to abuse her. And now they’re taunting her, as well.
HARRISON: So what’s for breakfast?
He begins rummaging through cupboards, looking for something to eat… throwing things on the floor, as he does so.
GRETCHEN: Breakfast? What about those chocolate muffins from yesterday? They’ll be cool now.
HARRISON: Oh yes, I forgot about them. *grins*
He walks over to the tray of now-cooled, burnt-to-a-crisp, rock-solid chocolate muffins. He takes one from the tray… and throws it at Mrs Fizzlepink.
HARRISON: Hey, that was fun. Want to try it, Gretchen?
GRETCHEN: Sure, why not.
Gretchen also takes a chocolate muffin, and throws it at Mrs Fizzlepink.
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I think you’ve both done enough! You are no longer welcome in my home! Please leave!
GRETCHEN: What’s that? WHAT’S THAT? YOU THROWING US OUT NOW?
HARRISON: Now you’ve upset my sister! NO-ONE upsets my sister! You’re gonna pay for that!
Harrison picks up the old woman’s walking cane that was still lying on the ground from yesterday… and begins beating her with it. Mrs Fizzlepink’s screams for mercy fall on deaf ears.
Then she falls silent.
HARRISON: What’s that? Cat got your tongue? Hahaha. *continues beating her*
GRETCHEN: *looks closely at her* Harrison… I think she’s dead.
HARRISON: … Nah, she can’t be. *kicks Mrs Fizzlepink* Say something, you old bat.
No response from Mrs Fizzlepink.
GRETCHEN: I’m telling you, she’s dead, Harrison.
HARRISON: *looks at Mrs Fizzlepink* You’re a witch, aren’t you? Just… poof yourself back alive again.
Still no response from Mrs Fizzlepink.
HARRISON: *drops the cane* Oh FUCK! I… I didn’t mean… I didn’t think she would…
Harrison is beginning to panic. He may be a bully, and a violent thug, and various other things… just like his sister. But he’s never killed anyone before.
GRETCHEN: It’s not your fault, Harrison. *tries to comfort her brother* If she hadn’t been a witch, none of this would have happened.
HARRISON: But she’s… I mean LOOK at her… she’s DEAD! What am I going to do?
GRETCHEN: Don’t worry, we’ll deal with this.
HARRISON: HOW?
Gretchen sits down at the kitchen table to think. Suddenly, the cauldron in the corner catches her eye.
GRETCHEN: *snaps her fingers* THE CAULDRON! She said she uses it to boil water. What if we fill it with water, boil it, then dump her body in it? No body, means nothing happened!
HARRISON: YOU… are a GENIUS! *hugs his sister*
The next few hours are spent with filling the large cauldron with water. It takes a long time, filling up the kettle, pouring it into the cauldron, refilling the kettle, pouring it into the cauldron, refilling the kettle again… etc. Then they light the fire underneath, and wait for the water to boil… which takes FOREVER. Finally, they untie poor old Mrs Fizzlepink.
HARRISON: Help me with this, will ya?
The two of them struggle, as they lift the old woman up, ready to dump her into the boiling cauldron. The water sizzles in anticipation.
Suddenly… out of nowhere… a loud clap of thunder sounds right outside the kitchen window, making the brother and sister team jump in fright. They’re so shocked, they drop poor Mrs Fizzlepink’s body back down on the ground. Rain pours down, crashing against the kitchen window, and banging at the door.
And a voice is heard… a whisper, carried on the wind…
Osiris, won’t you hear my plea
Osiris, grant thy life to me
A kindness that was taken wrong
Betrayal led to evil’s song
Let death take not this mortal soul
Let death take not it’s final toll
Grant to me a chance to quench
A bitter blow, one last revenge
HARRISON: *turning deathly pale* What the hell was THAT?
GRETCHEN: *turning equally pale* How should I know?
Another clap of thunder sounds, sounding as though the devil himself has awoken. The brother and sister rush to the window to look outside.
Behind them… Mrs Fizzlepink slowly gets to her feet, and dusts herself off. She tuts several times.
Gretchen and Harrison spin round... and can’t believe what they’re seeing.
HARRISON: But you… you… you’re DEAD!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Do I look dead to you, deary?
GRETCHEN: But… but… we SAW you!
MRS FIZZLEPINK: Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really should know better than to attack a witch, dearies. *grins*
GRETCHEN & HARRISON: …
MRS FIZZLEPINK: I tried to be kind. I opened my home to you. But when kindness is met with cruelness and hostility… that cruelness must be dealt with most severely! Now let… me… see. You seem to like my grandmother’s cauldron, so it seems only fitting that you get to experience the full benefits of it. And I see you’ve already boiled the water for me - how considerate! *pauses* I’ve always been partial to boiled toad, so…
With a wave of her hand, the two teenagers disappear. In their place, croaking angrily on the ground… are two large toads. Mrs Fizzlepink picks them up, smiles, and drops them into the boiling cauldron.
An hour later, Mrs Fizzlepink tucks into a tasty treat of toad sandwich.